vacantuterus

I'm here, with blog change announcement.

I'm just having a lot of migraines. I've been spending less time on the computer, hoping that that might help things but it hasn't made a noticeable difference. I saw my neurologist again and he upped one of my dailies. In addition, he added an injectible medication for the days when the headaches are just overwhelming. I have a bad headache today so it's not as funny but yesterday Beth and I had a good laugh about me shooting up in public. Beth said she hoped she'd be around for that one day so she could sternly confront me about my drug habit. I said that it made me feel like Nicholas Cage in The Rock but I'll be stabbing myself in the thigh instead of the heart. I'm a total badass! Except I'm not because most of you reading have stabbed yourselves hundreds of times with sharp needles so I know you're not in any way impressed.

I mentioned before that I'm moving my blog. I've got the new one set up, though there's nothing posted there. It turns out that you can't import a TypePad blog to this particular platform so if I want to take my archives with me, I'll have to copy and paste each individual post. That's almost five years of posts. I seriously considered doing it for a few days and then a handy reminder from TypePad arrived in my email, chirping that the credit card I use to pay them is about to expire at the end of July. Would I kindly renew at my earliest convenience? I decided that this was a sign and that I'd make July my last month here. Since moving all my archives in a few weeks would simply not be possible, I am not taking them with me. Don't get me wrong, I'll be saving them for myself; I'm not sending that much writing down the drain. But I gave the new blog a new name and I think that starting over, leaving all this baggage behind, somehow seems fitting and good. Healing. I'm ready to set some of this down.

So. The new blog. I'm keeping it invite-only for the first couple of months in order to weed out some unwanted followers. I've given it a new name and a new look and it's on a totally different platform than TypePad. If you'd like to come with me, please send me an email at casa (dot) vacant (at) gmail (dot) com. THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE I WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND!! IF YOU WANT TO COME, EVEN IF YOU ARE A LURKER, PLEASE SEND ME AN EMAIL! This is where you picture me sitting across from you at your kitchen table and we both have steaming cups of tea. I'm looking at you very seriously and I reach my hand across the table to touch you lightly as I say "Really, I want you to come. Even if you think I think you're a stalker. (Mrs. W, I am so sorry I never responded to that lovely comment but I DON'T think you're a stalker so I'm fully expecting you to show up in in my inbox!) Just tell me your name, a little bit about yourself, or link your blog and really, I will invite you. Don't worry when you get to a mostly empty website, I'll start posting there soon. And don't worry if the invite takes a few days to arrive; I'm still figuring all this out." Okay? Comprende? Good.

Now I am going to bed and I am hoping to wake up to sunshine and no headache.

Because it was too good not to share

Tonight I decided to hop on desktop computer instead of parking my butt on the sofa and using the laptop like I normally do. I was all set to respond to DD on Facebook when all of a sudden the computer totally FREAKED OUT. It kept opening window after window, no matter how many times I closed them. I tried shutting the computer down by pressing and holding the power button but when I counted to ten and restarted, I heard it make an ominous clicking sound. It zoomed past the DOS-type screen that asked me if I wanted to start the computer in Safe Mode and started it in regular mode automatically. Sarge and I have our computers networked so you have to log on with a password once you get past all the loading prompts. I watched in horror as the screen tried to access Sarge's computer again and again, failing the password.

I knew something really bad had happened. At best, I figured I had a Trojan Horse virus or something like that. But it occured to me there could be something worse. I remembered a blog linked by Charming Bitch where the author had been stalked by a hacker who installed a keystroke logger program on her computer. The FBI got involved because it looked like the guy wanted to kill her. What if that was happening to me? And Sarge wasn't even home to help me figure this out! I could feel myself getting panicky. How long would that password hold? His is a brand new, really REALLY good computer. Pictures of SAM are on that computer! Deep breaths....ooooohhhhh craaaaappppp.

And that's when I saw it.

The edge of my plate, pressing down the "enter" key on the number pad of my keyboard.

Input needed *UPDATED*

I'm still pretty depressed about the job thing.  Not sure what else to say about that.

I'm about to run out of books to read and I'm at the end of my list.  Anyone have any recommendations?  (Don't worry Molly, I'm combing through your GoodReads as we speak!)  I'm looking for something with romance and adventure, can be historic but doesn't have to be.  I'm open to a broad range of options but I'm not looking foranything too heavy right now; I kind of want to escape.

Go!

*UPDATE*

Keep your suggestions coming!

Proof that you know me well: several of you have suggested Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series.  She is one of my favorite authors of all time.  I own all of that series and several of the paperback have broken bindings and loose pages from being read so often.

I am reading the last book of the Twilight series now and have liked the whole thing far more than I feel I rightly should have.  :-)

Don't stop!  I love hearing about what you've read and liked.

POP! Hissssss......

That sound you hear is the sound of my job opportunity fading into thin air.  I'm not getting my old job back and I'm incredibly bummed about it.

I went for a meeting today with the woman who was my immediate supervisor (way back in the day) and the woman who is now running the libary in the actual library manager's absence.  Temporary Library Manager (TLM) really likes me and wants me back badly.  She's the one who offered the position in the first place and she was the driving force behind trying to make it happen.  But Immediate Supervisor (IS) is a control freak who doesn't like her territory invaded and since she wasn't given suitable time to become accustomed to the idea, threw up roadblocks.  IS offered the available hours to another staffer yesterday.  TLM was unaware of that but once the offer was out there it couldn't be recinded.  

It's fine.  This other staffer can only work those hours over the summer so maybe I'll be able to go back in the fall.  (Unless, said IS, this staffer's school will let her do a co-op thing, in which case she'll keep those hours.)  In the mean time they asked if I could still volunteer on a regular basis.  What could I say but yes?  Anything else would have looked like sour grapes and honestly, part of the point of this was to get out of the house so I still get that by volunteering.  The extra money would have been nice, though.  If, for some wild reason, the staffer turns down the extra hours she's been offered then they'll give them to me.  But I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.

TLM wa so furious with IS that she was nearly crying when the meeting broke up.  I was gracious about it because being a bitch wouldn't have served anything.  I still really want to go back so I have to play nice.  But man....I'm disappointed.

Back to the Fortress of a Thousand Whispers

This morning I woke up grumpy. That's not too unusual, I'm not so much of a morning person, but today I was like SuperGrump.  Grumpalicious. Grump with Extra Grump On The Side, Please.  I was nice to the baby because really, who is mean to a baby?  But I think it was the first time since last June that I've really thought to myself "Man.  What the heck are we going to do today?"  Sam's lungs aren't in great working order right now which means we've spent a lot of time at home, either recovering from some sort of sick or trying not to inflict the sick upon other hapless babies.  I think I've finally reached my limit with it all, to the surprise of no one but myself, doubtless.

When Sam went down for a nap, I asked Sarge if he'd mind terribly if I went to the library for a few hours and volunteered.  We'd talked about this a few weeks ago when I expressed some nostalgia for my late career.  (Can I even call it a career?  My job, let's say.)  When I approached them, the library was more than thrilled to have me come back and volunteer.  Even though the scope of my responsibilities would be severely limited as a volunteer, I'd need no training at all and they could be sure that whatever I did would be done properly and quickly.  Today was the first time I've volunteered and even though they had me shelving juvenile nonfiction which is the most onerous, nit-picky, messy section to shelve, I LOVED IT.  Several people asked me for help with things and I helped them.  I felt so useful.

There's a hiring freeze in the county but because two people have quit in the past month there are hours available at my library.  There's also a complicated situation involving state aid money that we will lose if no one takes those hours.  And so I was offered my job back, with the promise that they'd work around Sarge's school schedule in September.  Apparently I was never taken off payroll so coming back would be as uncomplicated as showing up next week.  I'm still active on the list for reference positions because of the test that I took last year so if a reference postion opens up, I'm still eligible to move up the ladder.  Essentially, the last ten months have been a placeholder.  In this economy I have a hard time believing my luck.

I told them I'd have to talk it over with Sarge and we'd have to discuss childcare for Sam.  But I cannot tell you how excited the thought of returning to work has made me.  The thought of being surrounded by books again, knowing what the latest buzz is in the literary world, even dealing with problem customers makes me want to weep with relief.  I love my library.  I loved what I did before I left.  Being able to go back again, being able to fit that into my life now...what a gift.

I feel a little guilty for wanting it so much.  During all the years I dreamed of a baby, I never once thought that I would be a working mother.  All I ever wanted to do was to stay home with my kids.  It's important for me to know you understand that I'm not judging the working moms out there.  I just could never understand why you needed to work.  But now I do.  I'll only be working part time; I don't think I could stand to be away from Sam for more than that.  I think, though, it will make me a better mother to be out of the house, as an adult, for 12 to 15 hours a week.  And on the off chance that it doesn't and that I hate it, I have nothing to lose.  I can always come back home again.

I'm just so stinking excited.

This is my lame attempt at a post.

I had to go to three stores today to find leeks.  Apparently Delaware is having a leek shortage.  Strange.

I am sorry about being away from your blogs again and away from mine.  When I came back from my sabbatical I meant to start posting again more regularly and to catch up on everyone's news but instead it's been more like I've gotten a divorce from my computer. I missed Sam's entire IVF cycle, Sista Mel has 36 posts I've yet to read and that's just the tip of the iceberg.  I've got a lot of catching up to do. 

I'll be back. 

The state of things here.

Meaningful posting to resume soon.  Pinky swear. 

So long, Blog 365.

People, I have decided to take a bloggy sabbatical.  Don't worry, I'm sure I won't be away for very long, certainly not for weeks and weeks.  I know this will kill my attempts at Blog 365...maybe I can ride that horse next year.  Right now there are some things I need to take care of off the internet, friends who I want to support, crafting I want to pursue and some private personal work that I've been looking forward to doing for a long time.  I've only got so much time in a day and something has to go, at least temporarily.  I'll be checking in on your blogs as I can and I'll still be on Twitter (because how much time does that take?)  Please feel free to email me about anything that's on your mind; I'm still your friend!

And don't worry; this sabbatical has nothing to do with my recent postings.  I'm just enjoying my non-internet life right now and I want to stretch out that time.

xoxoxo

Flicks 

What number am I on, anyway?

I had big plans to show you the wombat I machine appliqued.  You were going to be very impressed.  It was going to be awesome.

Except.

My sewing machine is acting up.  The zig-zag stitch, the ONLY stitch that I need to machine applique, is broken.  Every single one of the other 14 decorative stitches works, as does my straight stitch.  But zig-zag?  Dead. 

Sigh.

So the wombat's on hold.  I've dragged out the ancient, heavy Kenmore that has been slowly rusting in my storage attachment.  It doesn't do anything fancy, just straight stitch and hopefully the zig-zag.  If I can figure out how to work that machine, maybe I'll have a wombat for you tomorrow.  Stay tuned.

(PS~Was this the most boring blog post ever?  I think it might have been.  Do I get some sort of award for that?)

(PPS~I just dropped jelly in my keyboard.  I don't think that's good for it, do you?)

My doctor prescribed this for me...

...think it'll work?